Reflections on emotional integration and managing emotions in children

Which of the two figures resonates with you or seems correct?

To this question the answer is easy: the first. Obviously the green of the smiling face indicates to us something positive and is therefore correct while the red of the angry face something negative and therefore turns out to be wrong

Therefore we tell our children when they are in the situation expressed by the red face, “ now stop doing that!” “ be good!” ...

Here this actually shows how enormously dysfunctional our emotional integration is.

No emotion is good or bad, what is right or wrong is simply the WAY you express it.

If I am angry it is just as good as if I am happy, it is how I manage my anger that makes the difference. If I pour it out on the 'other person ( as we often see adults do on children) physically or verbally humiliating them, then that is where the red lies. If, on the other hand, I can bring it out in a coercive way then that is where the green is.

The problem is almost never with the children but with us adults and our of emotional education, that something that no degree or book read can ever make up for, since it has to do with being, with our “hard core” on which our personality rests.

What says something about us is almost never how our child/children behave but almost always HOW we react to their behavior.©️